Because

 

Because........

I've been thinking lately about relationships. Casual, intimate, friendships,
siblings, parents, pets, acquaintances, the cashier at the QFC, students,
clients, all the different relationships I have in my life. They are all part of
my experience on this planet, the connections and the moments together. The past
year has brought many changes for me. The loss of my job was a blow. However, it
was the loss of relationships that I had fostered and cultivated in those years
that stung the most.
The thing is, it's easy to focus on the the injustices one has withstood, real
or perceived. I could go on about backstabbing, and lies, and betrayal, and
maybe someday I will. For fun. But right now, I'm trying to look at the beauty
of the connections around me. No easy feat to be sure, but inevitably more
rewarding and less frustrating.

I keep thinking of the scene in the movie American Beauty where the kid talks
about the bag blowing around in the wind with the leaves, and the beauty of this
world and how hard it is to take some times. And it is. It really is. It's
beautiful, and scary, and here. I think for me, and a lot of folks that it's
easier to be angry than hurt, tough than vulnerable, push away rather than pull
toward. It may be momentarily easier, but I would argue after much practice
myself, that though easier, it is not satisfying, authentic, or healthy. I know
it sounds trite, and I'm not telling you anything new, I'm asking you to think
about the amount of energy you spend trying to get "there." Your kids to the
best school, with the best grades, on the best team, your spouse working,
working, working, for the nicest kitchen in all the land, with marble
countertops or whatever the Hell is the deal now, and making sure that your
workout is the best, THE BEST every time! Every Single Time! And no lines around
the eyes, and no saggy triceps, and gotta have that Audi, and the club, The
country club! I mean I get it, I do. I'm just saying, it's the relationships,
literally the time you spend with your family, your dog, cat, barista, bank
teller. The kindness you show people outside of your immediate network. The
connections, the sameness, the listening. The listening. I remember one time
years ago I heard Pat Buchanan talk about his cat and how much he loved her, and
I thought, wow, I actually have something in common with Pat Buchanan. I'm
telling you, this whole situation, the whole deal, if we can just have a little
empathy, and again, not just for us and ours, but for the guy who drives the
garbage truck, the woman who cleans your home, or the student aid who works at
your kids school, and hear each other and pull towards a little, rather than push away , I think it's a
better way to be. 

I'm going to a memorial on Thu for a student, and friend. She fought a valiant
battle with ovarian cancer. She wanted to be here, she wanted to stay. For the
sky, and the connections, and the grass, and the animals, and the kids. Not the
countertops......