SHAPE your own SELF esteem

I used to do these talks called "Fireside Chats" with young women. We would talk about self esteem, internal/external motivators, and cultural and peer pressures, among other things. One exercise that we would do would be to look through magazines, specifically ones that market themselves as health and fitness magazines such as Shape, and Self among others. I would have the girls pick photos of women they would like to physically emulate and we would discuss it. One thing we talked about was the prevalence of photo shopping. We all agreed that the images of women we were seeing in these magazines had been photo shopped, but it did not seem to have a bearing on the fact that the vast majority of these young women still wanted to look like these models. That led us to a discussion of intellectualizing versus emotionalizing. Intellectually, they knew it was impossible to look like something that literally was not real. ( Why not Wilma Flinstone? She had a tiny waist!) But emotionally they just couldn't get past the pressure they felt to look like that model. (Real or not.) Poor girls.
Sadly, although these were college coeds, and high school girls, this emotional/intellectual dichotomy exists for women of all ages in our culture. I have been a personal trainer and group fitness instructor for 24 years. October 2012 will mark my 25th year in this industry. I have always tried to encourage clients and students to work from the inside out. Striving for health, strength, and performance are positive motivators. Striving to look like a cartoon character, or prepubescent model who's had her waist shrunk, neck lengthened, acne removed, eyes lifted and jaw widened is a negative motivator. What I noticed early on in my career was that for clients who adhered to the former of the two motivators,  progress was swift, enduring, and fun. The latter by contrast, always frustrating, tear filled and fruitless. The same holds true today.
Instead of focusing on baby weight that hasn't come off as fast as the latest celebrity mom's, or getting frustrated because you can't get rid of the dimples in your thighs, or the little layer of skin that your bra squeezes under your arm pit, or whatever weird new physical sin that has been foisted upon you, try focusing on getting stronger, running a little longer or faster, learning a new movement pattern and perfecting it, trying a challenging new sport or exercise, or learning to breath, or touch your toes. The rest will come. AND better yet, even if it doesn't, you won't care because you'll feel accomplished, you'll have improved self esteem, and you'll be proud of yourself.

And one more thing. Stop Buying the damn magazines that make you feel bad about yourself in the first place. Now go on with your bad selves! Roar!